insomnia

Photo Challenge: Wall

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In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Wall.”

This is a photo of my kitchen wall. I had insomnia one night – well, lately it’s every night – and I hung this poster of John Hughes’s film “Pretty in Pink.” Technically, I measured the space pretty well I thought, except I didn’t account for gravity and the bottom of the frame fell into the electric outlet, making it unusuable. I actually like the imperfection. It is symbolic of how I try to make things perfect and measured and think I am logical but then I’ll miss something really obvious. It was also like 3 a.m. and my cat was recovering in the hospital post-surgery on his stomach. So I was focusing on hanging this photo and it was a good distraction.

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Fitbit and I joined 24 hour Fitness

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Great news! I joined a gym nearby called 24 hour fitness. I also have a new toy called fitbit. It tracks your daily steps and sleep. My insomnia has almost gone away since I have slept 6 hours 2 nights in a row. It can also track things like water intake, food, calories burned and more. And it is a cute bracelet like device you wear like a watch. I can be geeky about things like this, but it is just so satisfying. http://www.fitbit.com

Breaking Us in Two

It’s still Tuesday. How did it go so wrong? I’m listening to this song by Joe Jackson because my relationship with Paul is not in a good place. I wanted to go out to a Meetup group and spend some time with my friends. We had had a difficult day at the Vet as we each have 2 kitties with serious medical issues. When we got back, Paul completely shut down and just sat in his chair. I wanted to try and cheer him up or at least get him to eat something. Well, I had planned to go to my regular meetup group in the city, but I would have skipped it if he wouldn’t have turned so inward. I called Paul from the train and he didn’t understand why I wasn’t with him every night and why do I have to go out with friends or to a meetup group. I found this very selfish thinking. You can’t be with someone all the time and have a healthy relationship. He can’t count on me for everything. It’s not fair to me. He also knows that I’m having insomnia basically since we got together. I sleep sometimes 2 or 3 or 4 hours a night. 5 hours is miraculous. I’m going to the doctor tomorrow to try and solve this problem. I know the answer. I have to lessen the intensity of the relationship. I don’t want to break up but I can’t be everything he needs. I have hobbies, other friends, and then desire to go out in the fresh air. I’m working on my weight loss and will be joining a gym. Is he going to resent that too. Not likely, since if you recall, he blatantly told me I should lose weight. You know, I am happy and I’d like to stay happy. I guess we’ll just see what happens tomorrow. Here’s to another sleepless night.